At the end of each fuck session, they would lounge in bed, smoking in silence. Often times the same thought was going through either one or the other’s head: how do I progress this from friends with benefits to a full on romantic relationship. However, never did the cross both their minds at the same time.
The first time, it was she who was guilty of having this deal breaking idea come to her. Like he, she enjoyed her promiscuity and actively avoided getting her emotions involved. Sometimes, that seemed an impossible feat and this was one of those times. He was tall with sun kissed hair and the deepest dimples she’d ever seen. On top of that, he was a a writer and she had always been enamoured by the craft and those able to paint with words. Though she had never read any of his work, she had convinced herself that he was probably spectacular at what he did. She imagined him a modern day mix of Lord Byron and Bukowski, a combination that sent her pussy dripping.
They had been fucking for a few weeks when the thought suddenly hit her one day and she was shocked by its boldness. She had not expected to develop feelings for anyone yet alone some random guy she had met who happened to be a tad better looking than most of the guys she fucked. And yet, there she had been, laying beside him, her abs aching from having ridden him for what seemed like hours, and now thinking how nice it would be to have him accompany her to that work function at which she was expected to appear.
The thought was courageous enough to impulsively lead her to open her mouth to suggest it, but somehow he knew what was coming and before she could say anything he blurted out, “I’m thinking of buying a Segway.” Her courage died as quickly as it had been born, and a couple of weeks later, the feelings faded away and she was back to happily fucking emotion-free.
But around the same time that she become comfortable with their arrangement again, he started being plagued by annoying thoughts about her. Thoughts like how lovely she always smelled and how she was the first woman who had been able to verbally spar with him and how she wasn’t afraid to be wild and sexual. She was the sort of person he could see himself dating because he had almost as much fun with her outside the bedroom as he did inside. The amount of time they spent fucking and the long conversations they’d have in between sessions made it so they were pretty much dating already, he rationalised, so why not just make it official?
She had been watching him when this internal dialogue crowded his mind and she had seen enough guys end up falling for her to know when there was danger of it happening again. It was happening now and she cursed him for his bad timing and wondered where these feelings had been a few weeks earlier when she was ready to commit. The thought disgusted her now and verging on panic, she made the split decision to drive his mind away from the subject of dating. She successfully did so by administering an impromptu blow job.
Later, he was glad for her quick thinking because only a few days after he breathed a sigh of relief at still being single and free to fuck whomever he pleased instead of being tied to just one woman, regardless of how great she might be.
They were content and safe from any more of those pesky relationship thoughts for months, until suddenly it happened again. This time the thoughts attacked him again while he lay naked in bed and, without evening thinking about it, he wrapped his arm around her bringing her in close to his chest. Confused yet not hating the feeling of his warm chest under her cheek, she remained silent and tried to enjoy the moment as nothing more than a fluke, but when he reached down and planted a tender kiss on the top of her head, her heart began beating faster and she realized that they were back in that awkward place once more.
“I wanna go again,” she said to him and reached under the covers to grab hold of his semi-erect penis. A few seconds of her magic touch coupled with the romantic thoughts runnings wildly through his head was all that was needed to bring his erection to life and soon they were fucking like animals and everything seemed normal again.
The normalcy was fleeting, though, and within the week he found himself struggling with those pesky emotions again. They always seemed to pop up at the most inappropriate times like when he was with another girl who happened to be curvy as well or who happened to have a similar, deep, bedroom voice. He was getting fed up of arguing with himself about why this was a bad idea until one day he had an epiphany when he found her underwear in his laundry. Why couldn’t he just be with her? What was so scary about dating her anyway? He liked her well enough and the sex was great and she liked him, too, so why hadn’t they just done it already? And so he resolved to make it official the next time they fucked.
When he brought it up again, she managed to segue into dirty talk which inevitably led to sex, but he was persistent and afterward he brought her close to him and kissing the top of her head once more said, “I have a crush on you.”
Her heart plummeted and she began turning crimson with shame. Anywhere else in the world would be a more comfortable place to be than here, she thought. She’d give anything to be away from this situation, from this man and his feelings. She sat up and looked at him and he looked back, smiling confidently. His hand remained on her naked thigh, rubbing it casually.
“I don’t think we should fuck anymore,” she stated evenly. “There are emotions involved now.” Without waiting for a response, she rose and got dressed while he watched in silent shock. She stopped just before exiting his room and looked at him, still sitting on the bed with his entire face fallen.
“I just don’t want to see anyone get hurt,” she told him. After waiting a few minutes and failing to receive a response, she turned around and walked out. He sat on his bed laughing internally at the hideous irony of her words. She didn’t want anyone to get hurt, she had said, and yet here she had gone and broken his heart.